The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking... I highly suggest you try it.

Dr. Evil

Rating: 4.0 / 5.0 (2 Votes)

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Movie:
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Genre:
Comedy
Franchise:
Austin Powers
Character:
Dr. Evil
Related Quotes:
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery Quotes, Comedy Quotes, Austin Powers Quotes, Dr. Evil Quotes
Added:

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery Quotes

Commander Gilmour: Oh my God, he's back.
Johnson Ritter: In many ways, Bob's Big Boy never left, sir. He's always offered the same high quality meals at competitive prices.

Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war.
Basil Exposition: What's the other?
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Basil Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you?
Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.