Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo.


Rating: 4.8 / 5.0 (4 Votes)

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Movie:
Fight Club
Genre:
Drama
Character:
The Narrator
Related Quotes:
Fight Club Quotes, Drama Quotes, The Narrator Quotes
Added:

Fight Club Quotes

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
Narrator: So you can breath.
Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Narrator: This is Bob. Bob had bitch tits. This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big moosie slobbering all over me... that was Bob.
Robert Paulson: We're still men.
Narrator: Yes, we're men. Men is what we are. Eight months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit...
Robert Paulson: They're gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid.
Narrator: Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.