Dogma

Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay: Aww, fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay]
Jay: Dude, not all the time.

5.0 / 5.0
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Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)

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Movie:: Dogma
Genre:: Comedy
Franchise:: View Askew-niverse
Characters:: Jay, Rufus
Related Quotes:: Dogma Quotes, Comedy Quotes, View Askew-niverse Quotes, Jay Quotes, Rufus Quotes
Added:: August 07, 2007

Dogma Quotes

Gun Salesman: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on.
Loki: Well, it's a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it's not nearly as impressive. Just doesn't have that Wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this...
Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don't use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like.
Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work.
Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.
Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there's a subtle difference.
Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
Loki: Hey, you know, fuck you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.

Permalink: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target...

Added: August 07, 2007

Bethany: You knew Jesus?
Rufus: Knew him? Shit... Nigga owes me 12 bucks.

Permalink: You knew Jesus? Knew him? Shit... Nigga owes me 12 bucks.

Added: August 07, 2007