You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable! I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!

Chip Douglas

Unrated

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Movie:
The Cable Guy
Genre:
Comedy
Character:
Chip Douglas
Related Quotes:
The Cable Guy Quotes, Comedy Quotes, Chip Douglas Quotes
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The Cable Guy Quotes

He who hesitates, masturbates.

Chip Douglas

Rick: Look, Chip Douglas, I don't know what your story is, but I'm going to find out!
Chip Douglas: Well, don't dig to deep or you might get burnt by the molten lava!